It’s easy it is for women to over caretake. I think it’s in our blood. It feels good in the moment. We’re being helpful. Others think we’re awesome. We can make things happen. Get stuff done. BUT our energy spreads out thin. Spread out trying to control everything around us.
When I first started holding woman’s circles, I had my energy spread everywhere. I wanted to make sure the women had a good time, they had transformation, they had a great art experience. If anyone was frustrated, I took that on as my personal responsibility to fix.
I led one circle where a woman got upset by the process. She didn’t like what she was creating and was pissed and wanted to quit. I talked to her and let her be, yet at the same time, inside all my energy was going to her. I had 11 other women in class, but she had all my attention. She moved through it as my students always do, but after that circle I was exhausted. Can you see why?
I was making myself responsible for her outcome.
The thing is, we use all our energy up on other people and we end up with the leftovers. We put our needs and dreams and desires below everyone and everything else. There will always be those that need to be taken care of. When were taking care of others our attention is on them. It makes it easier to ignore the pain and discomfort of our own lives.
Whenever I lead an in person retreat, I always lead The Red Thread Ceremony, taught to me by Shiloh Sophia. It is a way to connect a circle and help those present create massive change. There are many aspects of the ceremony but I want to point out one part. During the ceremony we pass around a ball of red thread. After it has gone around the circle, everyone is holding a piece of red thread in a large circle. At this point we like to point out each woman is just responsible for the piece of the red thread she is holding. She is not responsible for anyone else’s red thread. This is a deeply freeing moment for most of the women.
As I’m running the Woman Unleashed Online Retreat, I’m asking myself,
What ways can I continue unleashing myself?
What things have I tied myself to I want freedom from?
What am I taking on that isn’t mine?
This is about freedom. Claiming it. Choosing what we want. Sister, it’s time to just hold your piece and whatever you’re holding that belongs to someone else, Let go
Share here. What piece are you letting go of?