A couple weeks ago I was on the phone with a woman named Anna. We were talking about what she wanted in her life. When we dug around a little, she told me she had this “secret” dream to write a book. I asked her why she called it her “secret” dream. She told me she couldn’t just go off and tell people about it… kinda like it was a pipe dream, not very practical.
I get it.
Do you have a dream like that?
You have something you’d like to do but it doesn’t seem responsible or you think it won’t bring in income? Maybe you think, Who am I to ___________ (fill in the blank here)?
When I first started living my secret dream I was petrified what people would think. No one but my husband and close family knew I was painting… and that I LOVED it. I was writing, journaling, creating poetry and paintings. I had no formal art education, just my deep bliss.
For 1 1/2 years I kept my dreams under wraps. I didn’t want to hear the same voices from people I was telling myself…
Where did I study art?
Who would buy my work?
Where was I published?
What made me think I could succeed?
After 1 1/2 years, I knew it was time to come out. I invited my close friends and family to a Coming In Ceremony. I made it into a personal rite of passage. I shared my paintings, their stories and poetry. It was a miraculous evening, but fear almost stopped me… that “Who am I” voice. I was so nauseaus, I almost didn’t hit “send” on the Coming In Ceremony invitations.
Here are 3 tips to honoring your “secret” dream:
1) Dream Alone
Give yourself time to relish your dream by yourself before sharing it. Like a new mom, let your dream baby grow. When a baby is in the womb, mom has it all to herself, no need to share. Incubate. Dream. Revel in the possibilities.
2) Don’t share with downers
You know the type. You tell them about an idea and they tell you all the ways it won’t work. They tell you to be “realistic.” Realistic = Dream Squashing. Avoid it. Just like when you have a newborn, you don’t just let anyone hold your baby. Anyone who is sick, or 2 year olds without assistance… you know what I’m saying. Mother your dream a lithe.
3) Find your support
When I had my first baby, I didn’t know how to change diapers or bathe my son. Luckily my step-mom had 5 kids and gave me the 4-1-1 on baby care. Holding a slippery baby safely wasn’t new to her. Who is going to cheer you on? Tell you it IS possible? See you already living your dream? Surround yourself with people who will hold that vision for you, even when you feel like giving up… a fellow visionary, a circle of support, a coach or mentor. The way I went from cautiously sharing my work with 20 women in my living room to selling and sharing my work internationally has been through amazing support and a clear plan.
It’s time to birth those “secret” dreams.
Leave a comment. What is your “secret” dream? How are you coming out?