You know that voice in your head?
The one that tells you… you’re amazing, you’re terrible, you’re right, you’ll never amount to anything, you’re special,you’re a horrible person, you’re a great friend, you’re fat, you’re kind…
Yeah, that one. The one that is talking in your head ALL. THE. TIME.
You know you’re not that voice, right?
I am re-reading An Untethered Soul (Ah-mazing book ladies). I love how the author Michael Singer describes our thoughts… as an always playing, never-ending dialogue. I like to think of it as an internal iPod that plays EVERYTHING. It will play music I love… Enya (a.k.a. I’m amazing. I’m doing my work in the world. I’m a great friend. I’m an amazing wife. I love my life.) and it will also play the music I don’t like… Neil Diamond (a.k.a. Who would want to listen to me? I’m a terrible artist. I don’t know my purpose. I’m a terrible mom. I should call my parents more.) The thing is, this internal music is playing all the time and lots of times its on shuffle.
The author asks us to track our thoughts and instead of letting them run in our head, imagine someone sitting next to us saying all those things.
Like right now… This is what my head is saying…
You know, people don’t actually read this stuff.
Yes they do. You get emails all the time.
You have to write deeper, more authentic.
Just be you.
You’re doing great writing while you’re healing.
I wonder if anyone would notice if I stopped writing.
I love writing.
Doesn’t this sound a bit neurotic? Like if this was a real person, you’d be wondering what was wrong with them, right?
You know what’s really crazy? We actually listen to this voice and make decisions based on what it’s saying.
Like when you’re painting or creating and the voice tells you it’s no good and you’re not an artist. So you stop.
Or when you want to go to a party and the voice tells you you won’t have fun so you stay home. And you’re alone.
Or when you want to start a business or women’s circle or lead a workshop, write a book, create a non-profit or go back to school, but the voice says, Who are YOU to do this? So you don’t. And you live letting this voice make your decisions.
Make your decisions when you are clear… when you are inspired and have clarity. Then RUN with those decisions and know this running never-ending dialogue is gonna have a lot to say about what you decide. You aren’t that voice. Don’t give it the power to talk you into what you don’t want or out of what you do.
When I first started showing and selling my artwork, I knew I was meant to share my work. I was excited. I got my work in galleries and online. I had wonderful feedback. When my artwork didn’t sell right away, I started doubting. Maybe I made a wrong decision? Maybe I wasn’t an artist? Thank God I didn’t listen to that voice. I kept my focus on the voice that originally told me to share my work. And you know what happened? My work sold, piece by piece, bit by bit. Some hasn’t sold. What would have happened if I listened to my thoughts when they were telling me to give up? When I was on iPod shuffle… I’m no artist?
Remember… YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.
When I was a new mom, I was SO tired. I was running off fumes. I needed sleep. I remember giving my son a bath while he was crying. I thought… I just need him to stop crying. I wanted to shake him I was so frustrated. Did I shake him? No. Am I am bad mother because that thought ran through my head? No.
Are you a terrible person because you think you’d rather be alone than go to your kid’s soccer game?
What if you hear your neighbor has cancer and you think… I don’t want to go see her?
What if your husband wants to have sex and you think… I have a lot to do. This is another thing on my to do list. Are you a bad wife? Or is something wrong with you?
How many times do you judge yourself because of a random thought that runs through your head?
Thoughts are running all the time. Don’t give them the power to define you.
Share below. What thoughts have you been judging yourself for having? What thoughts are holding you back from doing what you want?