Friday night I was on a date with Tony (that’s my husband extraordinnaire for those of you who don’t know). Parents are in town and we took full advantage so we could play a little hooky from the kids and hang out.
We’ve been together almost 19 years. I knew him when he used to wear Wranglers and cowboy boots and he knew me when I was living the college lifestyle (top ramen, rice and wine).
In the work world Tony is an Executive Business Coach and many times I hear him say amazing, brilliant things and think, Wow! He is SO smart. Don’t tell him I said that, ok?
We started talking about the power of vulnerability. I mentioned my last blog post about my run in with Sage and how many responses I got from women who totally related to me. Women who had those days in the past or were in the middle of a rough day. He shared how when he is coaching, the most powerful and connecting work is when he is fully vulnerable and shares himself, just as he is… no masks, no facade, just him.
You see, no one can relate to someone who has it all together.
None of us are. When we think someone is, we distance ourselves from and compare ourselves with… She is so pretty, she is so smart, she has a beautiful house, she is so skinny, she makes great money, her kids love her, she’s got a great husband…
Instead of the connection we desire, we are isolating ourselves in our head.
Connection asks us to recognize our similarities…
We all cry and fall apart.
We all get angry and upset.
We all hit the end of our rope.
We all doubt ourselves and wonder if what we have to offer or what we are doing in the world really makes a difference.
The difference is that some of us live in that head space and some of us visit it.
So I want to ask you…
Do you feel like you have to have it all together before you share your gifts?
I have spoken to so many women who have a vision or dream… to open an Art Sanctuary, to sell their artwork, to start holding workshops and classes, to expand their practice. There is only ever 1 thing that will hold someone back from their stepping forward towards their dreams or making the change… the voice in your head.
This is one variation of the voice I hear a lot… I need to be certified, get a degree, take more classes, read more books, (fill in the blank). Why do we feel like we need to have something more than ourselves? That our life experience isn’t good enough? That we need to work through our issues and get all healed before we help others?
I know as you are reading this you already maybe thinking, Yeah Amber, but you just don’t know my situation. Just so you know, if you’re thinking that, I’m talking to you especially.
The I-need-to-be-more and/or do/learn more _____ thoughts will keep you totally stuck. You think you are improving yourself to help others, when really, you have the skills and experience to help people right now.
You don’t have to have it all figured out.
If I waited to have it all together, I’d still be working on my first version of my website making sure I had the right copy (I’m currently on my 4th website). There are wounds I am still working on around my personal sensuality, but that doesn’t stop me from helping empower women.
My point is, there is power in just being yourself.
Here is a picture no make up, tired and with poofy eyes to show you unedited me right now.
I can still struggle with my personal self care practice, but I know how essential it is, what it’s like to have one, to not have one, to create one that fits into my schedule with my kids and work, and one that nourishes my body, mind and spirit. I have plenty of experience to figuring out my own shizzel to help others. Same with tuning in to my intuition, tapping into my energy or activating my creative powers.
This is what I really want you to hear…
Don’t wait.
Don’t wait for it to be perfect to start.
Don’t wait to lose the weight, fix the hair, learn the language, take the class, read the book, open the sanctuary, join the group.
You are powerful just as you are.
Is there something you have been putting on hold waiting for the “right” time to have everything all together? Comment below and share what that is. Let’s stop waiting.
