Letting others help. The art of asking.

After hitting my head on the brick wall year after year I’ve been learning the art of…. Asking for help.

FullSizeRender 2This has completely changed my life.

If you’ve ever worked on a project and gotten stuck or bogged down in details and couldn’t get moving forward, this is for you.

~ This is for the artists trying to figure out SEO or the technology to create a website.
~ This is for workshop leaders trying to design a flyer, do all logistics, create content, and hold the container.
~ This is for entrepreneurs trying to do their business solo without a coach or advisor.
~ This is for women trying to do it all…


Last week in the middle of my 2 retreats I had an ear infection. The week before my ear started hurting. I’d been doing all things natural to heal it. As my retreat was coming, I started to get nervous. I was taking breaks. I was taking medicine. I was napping. And nothing was working. It was getting worse.

On the last day of my private retreat I couldn’t even hear out my ear anymore. Instead of pushing or making things happen, I decided to let go.

I decided to ask for help.

I had Lacey Johnson assistant of awesomeness (her new job title is my savior), Jennifer Bowers artist-movement practitioner extraordinaire, Emily Grieves artist and retreat owner, and Annette Wagner art doctor on my team coming out to help run the retreat.


Emily Grieves, Annette Wagner and Jennifer Bowers


At 9am I said to Lacey and Jenn, Ladies, I’ve gotta go to the doctor and try and get this worked out before the retreat starts at noon. I need your help to set up the retreat area and prepare. They were all in.

So as I was in the waiting room, getting my ears checked, these ladies prepared the retreat area, welcomed the women, and got dressed and together too. As I waited for my prescription to get filled, I called Jenn and Lacey and asked them to gather the women as I was still getting my meds. By the time I made it to the hotel, the ladies had just sat down in circle. I walked in, welcomed them and we began. I could focus on them instead of the pain in my ear.

You see, I used to think I had to do it on my own.

Part of that came from not trusting people. I knew I could do it right. Someone else might screw it up. Better to do it myself. Can you relate?

Retreat gifts

Retreat gifts put together by Jenn and Lacey


I also didn’t want to show my vulnerability to others. I didn’t want people to know I needed help. I didn’t want people to see me struggle. It made me feel weak and embarrassed. I thought I should be able to handle it all. Super-woman.

Not. true.

I’ve learned in order to be successful, I have to ask for help. My job is to focus on the things I am most brilliant at and have others focus on the things I’m not. 

This is how I’ve grown my business. This is how I can work with tens of thousands of women around the world, do homework with the boys and get dinner on the table. This is how I ran 2 back to back retreats with an ear infection and still took off for 4 days of R&R with my hubby in Kaua’i.

There’s only so much of me to go around. There is only so much I can personally grow my business. If I want my vision to grow and influence others, I have to get out of the way. I have to recognize that I’m not brilliant at everything. I have to let go of control and let others help me.

Lacey helping me figure out how to use a selfie stick

Lacey helping me figure out how to use a selfie stick


I believe we are all meant to learn this. I believe Creator made us this way. We don’t all have the same gifts. We are meant to lean on each other. We are meant to help each other. We are meant to be in connection. 

And yes, even if we are doing our soul work, things we love, there will still be areas we need to ask for help.

How much time/energy/resources are you spending doing something you don’t love? That isn’t your strength? That sucks the happy energy out of you?

I love leading retreats and I knew I needed help. This retreat I had 3 women helping ladies with painting, 1 woman dedicated to retreat logistics, and I floated around, watching the energy and supporting where needed. I left this retreat with more energy than ever before because I could stay in my genius. I didn’t have to be all things to all people. 


Share below. What are you working on that you can delegate? Ask for help? Hire someone else? It’s time to let go and grow….


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