This morning my youngest was being a brat (a.k.a. expressing his independence). He decided he didn’t want to do his chores and would mope and complain. He plopped himself on the floor and refused to do anything.
I decided to make his life miserable until he changed his mind.
I took away his privilege to play electronics, play with his friends, watch movies, play with toys, and any treats. Right when his brother went outside to play with his friends, he started thinking it might be a good idea to do chores. I could have let him do his chores, but I decided to help him learn his lesson in a way he’d remember.
I took him with me to my Nia class so he could have more time alone, missing time with his friends. Then when we got home he had to do his original chores AND clean the bathrooms and scrub toilets.
Today’s lesson came after MANY others.
Incentives, positive encouragement, chore charts.
Ugh.
So this morning he learned his lesson and it made me think…
How do I learn my lessons?
Do I learn with positive encouragement and incentives or punishment?
Can I heed warnings or do I need to get knocked upside the head (over & over)?
I wish I could say I learn my lessons right away. But, I’m a total brick to the head kinda girl.
Last year my big lesson was about self care.
History was like this…
Work too hard, ignore my inner voice telling me to slow down, then get sick.
So after getting sick at the beginning of the year, I decided I was tired of that lesson over and over again. I talked to my business coach and she made me create strict business hours. No business when I’m not scheduled. Well, it was a great idea but in order to not get obsessive about my work, I got warrior about what’s most important to me. I shared about my process in my blogpost a couple months ago entitled Xena Warrior Princess Took Over My Schedule.
Even though I teach self care, this lesson was kicking my tata over and over again.
The biggest thing I had to shift was the way I thought about self care. It couldn’t be a bonus or perk. It had to be my foundation. I had to stop thinking of it as unimportant and put it near the top. Way easier to say than do. The way it started shifting was when I paid attention to my results when not practicing self care. When I stopped… my relationships with my husband, kids and friends would go crappy. I stopped enjoying my business and it felt like work (not a normal thing). I would overeat and gain weight. I would get depressed and down.
Yet somehow, I would forget it again and again… like self care amnesia.
A page from my watercolor journal in Tuscany, Italy (c) July 2015
I’ve been doing extra awesome on my self care since March (Yes, totally coinciding with The Woman Unleashed Group Mentorship Program because I can’t teach it if I’m not doing it). My learning has been about listening because sometimes a bubble bath just doesn’t cut it. I might need silence for a few hours or to float in the ocean or walk in the grass or write a poem or watch clouds float past.
Sometimes what works for me won’t work for you or what worked before won’t work now. It is more than just prescribing a certain # of self care hours to make sure everything else doesn’t fall apart.
It is about taking responsibility for yourself by listening to your voice, to your truth, to your wisdom. We just aren’t made to be cookie cutter people.
Share below. What lesson are you getting over and over again?
