One of my client’s is working on finding balance and taking care of herself. For the past couple months she has been stuck. She has 2 little girls under 2 1/2 and can’t find time for herself… not even 15 minutes.
Here’s the thing. She does have help come in. When her mom comes to help and tells her to go take care of herself, she stays, taking care of the kids or cleaning up. When the kids go to bed, she stays up late straightening up the house. She’ll get to bed late, wake up and do it all over again the next day.
What is stopping her from taking 20-30 min for herself?
Why does she feel the cleanliness of her house is more important than her?
Many women I work with have put themselves at the bottom of their importance list. Our work together is then reawakening them to themselves… their dreams, desires, their hearts. Yes, we all KNOW that neglecting ourselves isn’t good, but knowing it and actually doing something about it are two different things.
This isn’t a time to be apathetic, to know in your head it is important, but not make it so in your life. Don’t be like kids who know they shouldn’t drink and drive but then get in the car and take someone’s life. You may think I’m being melodramatic here, but I’m not.
What will it take for you to put yourself at the top of your list?
Maybe like one of my friends you have to get sick, I’m talking life and death sick, to see how important it is to take care of yourself.
Maybe you need to be so miserable you make those around you miserable and when your partner leaves you for another woman you start to see, this is no way to live.
Maybe you need to be reminded of the big picture… that in a year the cleanliness of your house won’t matter, being on a committee or working long hours on a company project isn’t important in the long run.
What matters is connection with yourself and others… the time you spend with those you love. People will remember how you made them feel.
How do you feel when you put yourself at the bottom? How do you effect others around you? Your partner, kids, friends, family? Do you want to be remembered as miserable, running around taking care of everyone and everything or connected and happy.
Your kids emulate you when they grow up. If you put your happiness, your dream and vision at the bottom, what are you teaching your kids? To wait to live their dreams? To wait to take care of themselves?
What do you want? (This is important.)
You have to see what you want, to know it is possible in order for you to change. If you want balance, to feel free and peaceful, to pursue your dreams or passion, you can’t keep doing the same thing you are doing… giving, giving, giving out. You HAVE to change something.
If this is you, this is what I want you to do…
Schedule in 15 min a day of Me Time. Start small if you have to. Make it something you can succeed with. You can find 15 minutes. Hint: It isn’t about finding time, it is about claiming time.
Write down what you want to change including all the reasons WHY it is so important you take care of yourself. I want you to go deep here. The answers I’m looking for aren’t just about feeling more peaceful. I want you to tune into WHY it’s so important… the emotion. Keep asking why until you feel a stirring in your heart. (Tears welling up is a sign you’re in the right direction.)
Put together a personal practice of Me Time. Start with a grounding practice and continue with what brings you joy… journaling, art, writing, dance, photography, nature walks… What fuels your soul? If you don’t know where to start, you can sign up “Nourish Me: 7 Dates for your Soul in 15 min or Less” at www.theradiantmama.com
Comment below and let me know what you’re gonna do to take care of yourself and WHY. As women we need to see examples of other women taking care of themselves, to know it is okay to nourish ourselves.