This weekend I was speaking with one of my friends who said she wanted to spend time with the real me. I thought about that… the real me?
The past couple years my work has been to be as real and me as possible in order to create connection with others. I’ve written blogposts sharing things I don’t want people to know about me and I’ve had honest conversations with family keeping it real.
It made me think of what my real is…. Is it when I’m happy and joyful? Is it when I’m sad and grieving? Is it when I’m high energy or low? Depressed or inspired? The thing is I’m all of it. There are moments I am laughing with a group of friends and 30 minutes later I may feel introverted and need to be alone.
I used to hold a really good mask up. When people would ask how I was, I’d say fine and keep it upbeat. I didn’t want to burden people with my problems or have people judge me. I learned it takes A LOT of energy to be someone I’m not.
I think of times I’ve judged people as fake because they didn’t act the same way they always did. The first time I went to meet an online mentor I’d never met in person before, I felt she wasn’t being herself because she was acting different than over video and email. I thought something was wrong. Nothing was wrong. She was just being a different flavor of herself, one I didn’t know.
We are always changing. There isn’t one way to be ourselves. It only becomes inauthentic or un-real when our outsides don’t match our insides… when we are straining and trying to be something we aren’t.
Practice keeping it real
This weekend I started my moon. Ugh. I was on Mau’i staffing a Woman Within Training supporting 25 women to speak their truth, trust themselves and step into their power. When my moon made her appearance, I thought, how am I going to honor my energy and support these women?
Then I thought, Hey, this is a great way to practice taking care of myself… in the midst of being needed by others.
I was reflective and quiet.
I went to bed early.
I honored my energy.
I had some women ask me if I was okay… I wasn’t my normal self, outgoing and social. The thing is I am outgoing and social only sometimes. This wasn’t one of those times. This was a time when I wanted to have deep conversations. This time I preferred to blend in the shadows and let others take the lead. I spent time outside in nature and journaled.
I’m asking you to join me in keeping it real.
Share… Is there 1 way you’re not being real in order to blend in or make others like you?