Ever felt so overwhelmed you finally break down? Let yourself fall apart?
That was me yesterday.
Thankfully my breakdown led me to a breakthrough and some ways to make sure it doesn’t happen again for me or you.
I woke up on the edge. I’d felt stretched and brittle for weeks. It had been building. I felt like my work and kids and marriage were all colliding and there wasn’t enough of me to go around, so I pushed and pushed checking things off my to do list but feeling like I was always “behind.”
I knew I needed to rest. I could feel my insides aching for stillness and quiet. I just kept putting rest at the end of my to do list and I never quite got around to it.
First thing in the morning, my husband and I got in an argument. Normally it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but yesterday, I felt like it was too much for me. My brain felt full and I was overly sensitive. I went to a Buddhi Yoga class to give my mind a break. I needed an hour to stop and get present. It felt good but it wasn’t enough. I had depleted myself so much that hour was a drop in the bucket.
I returned home feeling better. It didn’t last.
My eldest son is naturally sensitive and he could tell things were up. He got sulkier and sulkier, refusing to do his chores and listen. My patience was non-existant. At this point my synapsis weren’t firing and I was in the black or while, do-what-I-say-or-else mode. I couldn’t think of anything besides getting him to do what I wanted.
I pushed. He snapped.
Then I snapped. Really snapped.
We did and said awful things to one another, things I’m ashamed to write. Ugh.
Afterwards, I tortured myself. Running my negative mantra… “I’m a terrible mom” over and over again. I let my thoughts bring me to a point of such lowness. I felt I was failing as a wife and mother. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right… and that’s a shitty place to hang out.
Later my son and I talked. As I hugged him and we both cried, I could see so clearly that it wasn’t about me being or not being a “good” mom. It was about me neglecting my self care to such a point, I had nothing left… nothing left for happiness, for my husband or my kids.
I vowed at that moment to put my self-care at the top of my to do list.
Will you make the commitment with me?
The thing is, when you don’t take care of yourself, it effects those you love. When you’re at the end of your rope, you have to be the one to stop and refill your tank. This isn’t just about you taking care of you, it is about you really being there for others.
If letting yourself go means letting your patience wear thin, lashing out at those you love most, hating yourself in the process, does it really serve to give until you’re dry?
So, here are 4 ways to make sure you and I don’t go postal on those we love…
1) Commit to nurture yourself
Think about this as a marriage to yourself. A commitment before that of others that in the end serves those around you. If you’re not happy, you’re certainly not going to make those around you happy.
2) Honor your nature
Maybe you’re like me and time alone is important for your sanity. Maybe you need to connect to your “Natural Rhythms.” Noticing how your energy ebbs and flows like the moon and waves. Give yourself permission to be 100% you and honor your needs.
3) When you feel stretched, give yourself a mini retreat
What fills your soul? Naps? Beach, nature, walks? Art, writing, reading? Baths? Soothing music, meditation, prayer? Give yourself at least 15 min a day to tune your day.
4) Ask for help.
When I lost it with my son, my husband was there to take over. He gave me a break, listened, drew me a bath with music and candles. He could tell I needed a break. Who can you ask for help?
Share below and let me know if you’ve ever neglected yourself or how you make sure you don’t hit the end of your rope.