How I lost (and found) myself again

Have you ever had a moment, a decision that completely changed the course of your life?This one decision changed my life forever…

Five years ago I was a mother of 2 young boys under the age of 2 1/2. Mayhem.

shutterstock_138046112Diapers. Tantrums. Days without speaking to adults or leaving the house. My husband Tony flew back and forth to the mainland running our business. He’d be there 3 months and back for a week. I saw no end in sight and life wasn’t pretty.

I had lost my spark. In the midst of mothering my kids, I didn’t know where I had gone

I was a mommy zombie.


Can you relate?

Maybe you don’t have kids but you know what its like

to feel disconnected from your heart

to miss the sound of your own spirit

to have have a calling to create you ignore because of more important things.

I spent a lot of time in bed. Looking back I felt depressed and so lonely. I wanted something different but didn’t know how to change. I lived for story time at the library when I could leave the house and talk to other moms.


Amber “DivaDawn”~ My inner Legend (c) 2010

At the time I read a book called The Gift of a Year. In it the author asked you to choose 1 thing to give yourself over a year. Some ideas included bubble baths or playing a musical instrument. I felt overwhelmed with the business of taking care of my kids, but I desperately needed change. I thought, I can do 1 thing for myself over a year. When I thought of what brought me joy when I was a child, I came up with painting and writing. I didn’t know how I would do it, but I prayed for support because I was at the end of my rope.

The next day in my inbox appeared an email for an online painting and writing course: Leading a Legendary Life with Shiloh Sophia.

I was scared to sign up but more terrified not to. I signed up and gathered my painting supplies. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know which brushes or paints to use. I was WAY out of my comfort zone.  I enlisted the help of my artist friend Alice who took me to a painting store and walked the aisles, getting me the supplies I needed.

During the Legend course I scheduled my kids nap time so I could paint. I woke up early so I could write. I dedicated myself. I knew this was my chance. I couldn’t imagine living the way I had been. This was going to change my life. And it did.

When I woke up, I had something to look forward to. I felt passion and excitement. Over the course I painting my first painting on a 3′ x 4′ canvas and wrote my story. I discovered a part of myself I never knew existed… the part who was powerful and wild, creative and courageous, a part I had forgotten for a long time.

amber with divadawn

Diva Dawns, Acrylic on canvas (c) 2010

This was the beginning.

Legend gave me the courage to paint. I hadn’t painted since 2nd grade and didn’t know how. I was petrified. I learned step-by-step how to paint in a way that didn’t feel intimidating. I fell in love with painting. After this class I hung my first painting in a gallery, published my first poem, led my first woman’s circle and published my first blog. In the class I found my spirit and passion. I found deep healing and this was the spark that inspired to help other women do the same.

This year I’m co-teaching this year’s session of Legend. I am so excited to share this with you because I KNOW the power of this class. It changed everything.


The course has morphed over the years (as all living creative projects do) and this year is different than others. We are still painting that giant 3′ x 4′ canvas and writing our stories but we are also connecting to the wisdom of our painting teacher Sue Hoya Sellars (Legend of all legends).

I’m ready for Legend 2.0. I’m ready for another shift. I’m ready to re-write my story again. Come check out more information here

Watch out because this course will change you. Just a loving warning.


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