I’ve heard it said it is darkest before the dawn.
As a mentor, I watch women I work with feel pain, the pain of change, healing and transformation. I’m here to make sure they don’t back off, give in, give up right before the breakthrough. I’m here to midwife them into their power.
When you’re moving through deep shift, there is a point you wanna say, “The hell with this. I’m out.” You want to give up. Many times you can’t get to the other side on your own.
You may start off good. You have a dream or idea. You’ll start and get yourself moving but there will come a point when it isn’t fun anymore. You’ve lost your inspiration and wonder what you were thinking in the first place. You want to stop. You’ve left the honeymoon phase and entered the real world.
Make friends with the pain
One method I teach is the Reawakened Woman Painting process. I have women paint a huge self portrait using vision and symbol. We explore our inner selves by painting and image. This process is a perfect mirror. You’re controlling? It’ll show up on canvas. You’re unhappy? You’ll see it in your work. Invariably, about half-way through, my clients hate me, think I’m mean, hate their work and want to leave. It doesn’t feel good.
And this is when it gets juicy.
We can all change and do things that feel good, but what about when what originally felt good now feels hard and difficult? When you’ve lost your inspiration? Your joy? THAT is when you are on the edge… the edge of a break through.
You may want to head for the hills, quit, make the discomfort go away. What you need is to sit in the discomfort. Make friends with it. Be with it until it spits you out into a new space, somewhere you’ve never been before.
Can you relate?
Maybe you say you’re gonna write a book, paint a painting, start a business, live from your heart but when things get difficult and don’t feel good anymore, you stop.
Stop it.
Stop giving up when it doesn’t feel good anymore.
Stop giving up before the break through.
Support Breakdown to Breakthrough
I believe everyone needs help to birth big change. That is why I have my own coaches and mentors. I have a creativity mentor, movement mentor, spiritual mentor and business coach. Last week my business coach midwifed my most recent breakthrough.
I was in sunny San Diego at a 2 day business Mastermind. I had been feeling unclear creating a new program. I was frustrated with my unclarity and felt like my coach wasn’t supporting me the way I wanted. I felt stuck and I was blaming it on her. I came to the Mastermind in mini tantrum mode, passive aggressive. Grrrrrrrrr. Heaven help her if she decided to make me run a mile, go sell to someone right NOW, or get up in front of a large group and present. (All things she has cooked up before.)
I came in feeling blah. I left a different woman.
She asked us to take responsibility for our experience and if we wanted something from the weekend to make sure we left with it. My shadow pattern is to hold back and let others take the lead, to not speak up if it is inconvenient. Even though I have done work on my voice before, this weekend I stepped up and spoke up as I never have before. You want to know why?
I was pissed. I was tired of being in the uncomfortable space of unclarity and I decided I needed to ASK FOR WHAT I WANTED.
And guess what? I got it.
I didn’t hold back because I thought I might be overstepping my bounds. I didn’t just sit quietly. I let the discomfort propel me into my shift.
Own it
Can you take 100% responsibility for the experience YOU want to have? If you want to write a book and you can’t sit down and get started, what are you going to do? If you want to start a business, find a lover, lose the weight, step into your power, what do you need?
Remember to get support and ask for what you need.
What do you need to help you right now? Comment below and ask for what you want.
