My anthem used to be the song, Work hard for your money… da-da, da-daaaaa, so haaaaard for your money.
As an entrepreneur I always have something to do. Never ending… Send emails, follow-up, research, writing blogs, search for images, call potential partners, creating content. The to do list can go forever. Just writing it out is exhausting. Working long hours, keeping busy was my idea of success.
Nowadays I don’t let my To Dos lead me. I set one important task I want to do each day and I’m happy when it’s done. I add in emails and follow ups and BAM, full day. It didn’t used to be that way. I used to love checking things off… One more thing. Yay, but then I’d keep going and going and going. The thing is… there was always one more thing.
It’s like my laundry pile. Mt Fuji Laundry. There will always be more dirty clothes and yes, it feels good to get to the bottom of that pile, but then? My kids get home from school and the pile is there again.
Before college, I worked hourly jobs. I clocked in and out. Overtime wasn’t a good thing. I left work at work. When I first started working a non-hourly job, I didn’t know how to turn off or shut down. There was always more to do so I worked long hours. I was hard-working and successful. I was moving up the corporate ladder… and I was missing out on other pieces of my life… friends and family. All the friends I hung out with worked at the same company. We’d get off, go out for a drink, talk work and then go back next day.
Work was my world.
I remember one late night at my store getting a call from my husband asking where I was. ??? It was then I remembered we had a date. He had been sitting alone in the restaurant for over 30 minutes. By the time he called me, there was no way I could leave work and make it to him. I felt sick. I had gotten so sucked into work, I forgot him.
Keeping busy is a great distraction.When I miscarried my first baby, I was at work the very next day. I felt like at least I could keep busy and get work done. It would keep my mind of how terrible and broken hearted I felt. Another store manager who knew what had happened walked in, pulled me in the back, and ask me what the hell I was thinking.
And that’s the point. I wasn’t.
The thing about busyness and hard work is it’s glorified, social acceptable. We all do it. It’s our greeting. How you doing? Busy. You? Busy. When we slow down, take breaks or time off, it has to be earned first. I’m so over that paradigm.
Yes busyness is a distraction. You might get praised for it but you also might lose your friends, partner, or kids. You might get sick, and not just head cold sick, but dying sick. When that happens, it’s a wake up call. I just had one earlier this year. It can slow you down enough to realize busyness is not the way.
The real juicy and yumminess in life comes from the spaces. It’s not when you’re working your ass off. It’s afterwards. When you can bask in the glow.
Busyness is surface level. Next. Next. Next. No intimacy. No opportunity for self reflection.
Busyness is perpetual movement. Our lives are built upon rhythms. The heavens are on rhythms. Mother earth and her seasons. Waxing and waning of the moon. Even as women we have our natural cycles. Busyness takes your rhythmic body and puts it on perpetual daytime. Forever sunny. Forever summer. Go. Go. Go. And you know when you’re busy all the time?
You feel rushed, stretched. And you start to get bitchy.
Consider it a warning sign… bright flashing red light. Look at what you are asking yourself to do. Your inner bitch has your best interest at heart… and she’ll let you know when you’re not listening and need to slow down.
Share below. Where are you feeling too busy? When do you start to get bitchy?